It's not just my name, it's a way of life.

So, I guess I don't really have a calling, per say.  I guess I consider myself an activist.  I speak on behalf of children's rights.  I post anything and everything on the side of liberty and humanity.  I always make sure my voice is heard.  I guess I just need to stop trying to put a title on everything I do.  I participate in different things that are imperative to my spiritual comfort, but they don't always fall under the same category.  I guess if I had to put a broad title on what I want to show through my life, it would be KINDNESS.  HUMANITY.  LOVING EACH OTHER.

I really wanted to start up a whole new blog from before, in order to document all of my research, to babble about all of the things I advocate, disagree with, participate in, etc; but, I decided to revamp this old blog I started back in 2011.  I titled it "be the change", and well, it only seems fitting to continue on with this in mind.  Now, it's simply titled "be-the-change2013"... keeping in mind that I have changed a lot in the last two years as I'm experiencing what I believe to be a spiritual awakening.  Fitting right?  You can see the change over the last two years, if you look back through this blog.

I share what I do, and I live an open life so that I can help be some of the change.  After all, the CHANGE begins on an individual level.  If I can't share my experiences with others, what good is it?  I take "be the change" seriously.  The most intimate level of change begins within, and in order to help change the world, that inner knowledge, wisdom and personal transformation must be shared with the world in some way.

I have no purpose in life if isn't to leave my mark on this place.
Different day.
Same passion.
Renewed spirit.

So, I have really been racking my brain thinking about something a friend recently said to me.  "Well, your name is Candle.  That has to mean something, right?"  And, then it hit me.  I'm nothing special.  I'm just another woman, wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend... but, I have this strange pull to do something really great.  Maybe not Mother Theresa great, but something great.  Here.  Now.  In my little world.  With the people around me.  And what better personal push than to know that, by birth, my name has had a meaning that we all use to describe light in the darkness.  I think I'm supposed to use that as fuel to speak, share, reach out, advocate, love, give....... I'm gonna use it as my inner fuel.  That is what I'm gonna do.  Candle won't just be my name, it will be my meaning, my way, my purpose.

Starting fresh.  Sending you love.  Wishing you light.
Love,
Candle

the destiny of sisterhood

the last month of my life has been one of the most trying journeys i have ever experienced and hope to ever have to experience again.  i've been looking for ways to turn off feelings and rise above the pain.  i want to make memories disappear and form a hard heart.  i want to need NO ONE.  i want to do anything and everything for my daughter, all on my own.  i don't wanna lean. i don't wanna take.  i don't wanna cut the wound and let it bleed.  sometimes i cry.  well, a lot actually.  crying opens the wound.  crying makes the pain feel better.  and not leaning on people or taking from people, only makes me feel more alone.  it doesn't heal. 

so, i finally realized that, in order to heal and grow, i have to feel it all!  since when have i been a person to turn off my feelings or mask my hurt?  is it healthy for me to age another year every time i try and deal with pain?  hold it all in and deal with it alone?  cry in silence in my own misery... deal with it and not have a hand to hold?  God places people in our lives to help us through the difficult times.  to show us that we aren't alone.  i believe it's His little way of sending us angels who help us heal along each path we take and each journey we make.  The importance of our destiny is not WHERE we stand in the end, but WHO is standing beside us when we get there.  (and i'm pretty sure i just made up an awesome quote!)  that's life.  that's our destiny.  to begin, live and end our journeys with valuable, loving people who enrich our existence. 

so, i leaned.  i took.  i cut the wound open and let it bleed.  i had some amazing women by my side to show me what REAL love and friendship is all about.  my way of thinking has changed.  specifically, my views on women.  instead of judging them, i'm starting to see each and every woman i meet as strong, bold and tried.  we've all gone through some pretty rough spots.  i believe we are so much stronger than men in so many ways.  i absolutely know for a fact, that every person is placed in our lives for a reason and we are meant to open ourselves up to see what love can form.  this means opening ourselves up to sisterly love just as much as, or even more than we open ourselves up to romantic love.  i have experienced some of the most incredible SISTERLY bonds in the last year.  i am realizing that i am blessed beyond belief to be able to have these sweet angels in my life.  i would never make it without them holding my hand.

i've never been one to have many close girlfriends.  i've never trusted women.  this year has shown me, through the disappointments that have come from the men in my life, that women are strong, bold and faithful.  we can build bonds that no man will ever be able to sever.  we share laughter, memories, tears, pain, heartache and secrets that are sacred to our souls.  i will NEVER be able to replace the love and friendship i've been shown through my "sisters".  i'm blessed beyond measure and i am so much stronger because of them.  THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME, EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT ME.  -------a tribute to my sisters.  all of you.  you are all so beautiful to me!

revisiting the secret

*life has thrown some serious curveballs my way in the last week.  i probably endured one of the worst birthdays of my life and one of the toughest weeks i've ever experienced.  sitting here this morning, alone with my thoughts, i started remembering the basics of THE SECRET.  i haven't sat and watched it in a while, but i decided to revisit the concepts today.* 

when you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you doom yourself to have nothing more than the same in the future.

be in an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE.  gratitude is the way to bring more into your life.

every morning get up and say thank you.  think of what you're thankful for.  feel the feelings of gratitude.  you will begin to attract more of the good things if you feel gratitude.

your joy lies within you.

our body is the product of our thoughts.

do you treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you?

the universe is a masterpiece of abundance, good health and well-being.  when you open yourself up to feel the abundance of the universe, you'll experience the wonder, the joy and the bliss.  good health, good wealth, good nature.  when you shut yourself off with negative thoughts, you'll feel the discomfort, you'll feel the aches, the pain.  you'll feel that everyday is painful to get through.

you are not here to try and get the world to be just as you want it.  you are here to create the world around you that you choose.

life is meant to be abundant in ALL areas...

when the voice and vision on the inside become more profound and clear than the opinions on the outside, then you have mastered your life.

"YOU CREATE YOUR OWN UNIVERSE AS YOU GO ALONG." -Winston Churchill

*so, this post is a little jumbled with random ideas and thoughts from the secret, but i thought i would share a few.  these are the things i'm choosing to focus on this week.  hopefully, all of the positive energy i release to the universe will allow positive changes in my life.*

love them. protect them. never inject them.

With the school year quickly approaching, i wanted to share some information with my blog readers regarding vaccinations.  the biggest excuse i get from other parents after we have the vaccine debate is, "wow, well that's all really scary, but i really don't have a choice.  i have to vaccinate her/him so they can attend school".  FALSE STATEMENT, my friends.  the current SCARE phrase for this year is "NO SHOTS, NO SCHOOL", which is simply not true at all.  there are medical exemptions in all 50 states.  religious exemptions are available in 47 states and philosophical exemptions are available in 18 states.  so, scare tactics are being used in the media to get parents to vaccinate chilren.  that's the extent of it.  our media/our government is trying to control the medical decisions we make for our families.  but, they can't control these decisions if we don't let them.  it's up to us to become more educated and start making informed decisions for our children.  each time you inject your child with one vaccination, you are sending scary amounts of poison into their bodies.  you are voluntarily doing this to them!  you make the decision when you decide to believe the hype that the government is selling you. 

I believe that we have a God-given ability to make choices for ourselves.  we live in a world full of knowledge!  it doesn't take much to have research and facts at our fingertips.  we just have to be willing to open our eyes to what is very easy to see.  I was blinded for years about the government's role in our medical system.  it wasn't until i became a mother that i realized it was my mission in life to make the best informed decisions for my daughter.  God trusted me with this precious life and it is my job to make sure i keep her safe. 

i speak out on vaccines because i have personally seen the terrible effects they have had on children.  i have also known children who are scarred for life or dead due to vaccine injuries.  this topic is so extremely important to me.  so, this week i'm asking you to do a little research of your own.  dig deep.  read up.  study graphs.  i'm not even going to lead you.  the information is right in front of your face if you want to see it!  but, if you want to personally ask me for links, i have pages and pages of references for you! 

2011 WORLD BREASTFEEDING WEEK

alright mommies everywhere!  let's raise breastfeeding awareness this week to remind the world of our natural abilities to give our babies everything they could ever need!  august 1-7 is world breastfeeding week and i'm a little late on posting because i've been out of town!  but, please help me raise awareness this week, all month and every week of the year! 

"A pair of substantial mammary glands have the advantage over the two hemispheres of the most learned professor's brain in the art of compounding a nutritive fluid for infants."  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Annabelle's world...

i just wanted to post a little update on annabelle.  it's been a while.  i'm so proud of her and she continues to blow my mind everyday.  i can't even keep up with everything she can say or do now.  it's too much.  she's like a little sponge and everytime i turn around, she's doing something awesome and new!  potty training is coming soon and i will definitely be posting on our progress with that.  here are some things i wanted to share about my little diva...

TRI-NANGLE -  triangle


IT SOOOOO QKEWT-  it's so cute


YO-GET - yogurt


GAPE - grape


MANNA MANNA- banana


TAKE BASS- take a bath


BUUUUSSSSHHHH (sounds like hush) TEES- brush teeth


YOU OK? I HEP YOU - you ok? i'll help you.


BUBBLES AIRY WARE- bubbles everywhere


PISHY- fish


FWOG- frog (and then she says ri-dat ri-dat, instead of ribbit)


NUM NUM NUM LISHIOSO - from dora... yum yum yum, delicioso.


she loves to say: CAN I HEP YOU?  hahahaha.

*my favorite:  i luh you mommy... *



songs she can sing:
twinkle twinkle little star
abc's  (she knows her whole alphabet)
itsy bitsy spider
skin-a-marinki-dinki-dink
the barney song (accompanied with hugs and kisses)






she is very mechanical like her daddy.  puts things together very well and counts really well.  hopefully she'll be better at all the math and stuff than i was when i was younger. 

her favorite book is Brown Bear, Brown Bear.  she likes to tell you each animal on each page and the noises that each one makes. 

she knows all the parts of her face and body.  she can put mr. potato head together and put every part in its place while telling what each part is.

she's doing really well with shape recognition, letter recognition and number recognition.  and she loves to draw. 

and she can almost count to 20!


these are just a few cute words and phrases i wanted to share.  her vocabulary is so huge now, this list could go on forever.  these are just some of the ones that are my favorite to hear because she sounds so cute trying to pronounce things she can't yet say properly.

light of my life...

when the whole world fails me, i still have the unconditional love of this sweet baby girl.  when i'm having a terrible day and nothing can make it better, she comes over and loves on me with her empathetic expression.  she tries to smile at me and make faces if she knows i'm stressed or sad.  i hate that she ever sees me that way, but sometimes it happens.  we play, we laugh and we enjoy our fun.  we giggle, we tickle and we sing songs.  and i know that we will always have a special connection as mother and daughter.  we are so goofy together and i hope she will inherit my zest for life by spending so much time with me.  she truly is one of a kind.  a REAL character!  i just love her to death and i'm so thankful.  nothing compares to the unconditional love of your children and i'm feeling blessed that i was given this gift 2 years ago.  this is probably the one and only child i'm ever going to have... so, i'm thankful in more ways than words could ever express.  i hope i prove to be the best mother to her...  she is the LIGHT OF MY LIFE!  now i know how much my mother loved me...  my heart belongs to you, Annabelle Grace.