My daughter rushed to me about 5 am this morning and just wanted to be near me. After a few minutes, for no apparent reason, she began to cry. She usually says she's had a bad dream, or that she needs water, but not this morning. She just cried (soft little, quiet tears), and so i held her and assured her that if she was sad about something, then it's ok to let it out, and she could tell me. Of course, my brain is racing, wondering what could possibly be making her sad? She is usually so very bubbly and happy. I held back my own tears and just listened to her quietly cry, as she squeezed my hand and fell back to sleep.
Last night, I had to explain to my sweet baby that one of her best friend's and his family are very sad right now. After hanging up from a phone call I received from his mom, she asked, "mommy, why are you sad?" It's difficult to explain to a three year old that you're crying someone else's tears. But, I came up with the best I could. I explained that they are having to say goodbye to a special person in their family and that goodbyes are not easy. And that all we can do is just be there, and smile for them, or cry with them. Whatever we feel coming out of our hearts, and whatever makes them feel not alone. I explained that there was sometimes not much we can do except love our friends. We cried out for his family, said a prayer for them, and went to bed. So, my only guess is that her crying this morning came from her empathetic soul. I believe it wholeheartedly.
As she's still peacefully sleeping, I feel compelled to write about empathy. I believe the best we can hope for in our kids is compassion. It's imperative to help our children embrace these emotions at a young age, and not stifle it in any way. Let it grow and flow..... and maybe, just maybe, if our children are told that it's ok to be compassionate and warmhearted, then the coldness that runs rampant through this world will fade with coming generations. It's ok to hurt for others. It's what makes us real and keeps our blood warm. A sense of bonding and belonging between us all. We need this for HUMANITY. NOW more than EVER.
This morning I got the heart breaking call from my friend, and my heart sunk lower for her family. I wanted to go give the big squeeze I knew she needed, but she probably didn't want right now. I wanted to run to them and help and do and be... all of these things I wanted to do, but all she really needed was to just know that I wanted to. And to know that I'm broken for her today. No matter how much I could be doing for them, or how many flowers I could send or cards I could write... no matter how many words I could say, none of it matters, if it isn't driven by empathy, love and compassion.
So, my prayer/promise today is that I never muffle my daughter's compassionate side. I hope that she can witness my tears for others and know that it is an uplifting and beautiful experience to just FEEL so much for someone else! I hope she can witness my joy for others in the same light, and know that those emotions are what make us human. Those emotions are what connect us.
To laugh with others in joy, and to cry with those in pain, may be the most beautiful expression of love we can offer.
Hug your babies, y'all.
Loving all of you, with all of me.
Candle
