the terrible two's.

So, as I'm making my weekly maintenance trip to the store today, I encountered a FIRST.  The first temper tantrum of many, i'm sure.  IN PUBLIC.  It was awful.  I know there are many more to come now that I have a 20 month old.  I felt the situation was blog worthy because it touches on another topic that is extremely important to me. 

DISCIPLINE.

As my daughter is flailing her arms, kicking and screaming in the shopping cart, I realized I didn't know what to do.  For the first time as a mother, I really didn't have a clue how to handle the situation.  While the people stared me down and some old men shook their heads at me, I began to get upset.  Nothing I did would console her, and ignoring her made the problem worse.  She's very tender hearted, so telling her to stop or telling her NO, only makes it worse.  She's always been very easy to discipline because NO works really well.  As a matter of fact, I can just give her "the look" without even saying "no" and she begins to cry and stops whatever she's doing. 

Getting to my point: While I wasn't sure how to handle the situation, I know one thing that never crossed my mind... hitting her.  My husband and I decided a while back that we would be as peaceful in our parenting techniques as we possibly could.  I was spanked/beaten several times growing up and all it did for me was cause resentment towards my parents, even to this day.  As I listened to several people give me advice in the middle of the store I had to hold back tears.  All I could think was, "This is 2011... I choose to do differently than my parents did".  Some older lady told me I needed to be careful not to let me child get away with those things, as if I'm a bad mother.  I wanted to tell her to mind her own business, but I continued on my mission.  My child will learn from love, tolerance and acceptance.  She will always feel loved and I will never make her feel unworthy of my love.  This is the way WE choose to do it. 


If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.
BUT if a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.